Shit's finally turned around

For a long time, I was a nervous fucking wreck. But now, things have changed.  I've had this new job for a while, and it's pretty cool. Fuckin workin on planes and shit.  That and the people I work with are funny as fuck. Hell, I play ping pong on breaks. I'm makin good money and finally getting somewhere in life.  Shit's good career-wise.

But wait... .there's more!  The weather has been pretty badass.  Been out on my bike a TON lately.  Nothing makes me fuckin happier than that rusty death trap of mine.  Freedom in its most pure form.

And one more thing.  I've met a new girl.  She's as cute as can be, and has as much energy and a "let's get the fuck up and do this shit" attitude as I do. I'm excited to see where this goes.

Good weather, mad money, pretty gal, riding... things are good now.  You know... maybe all the shit I just went through happened for a reason.  It wasn't fun.  It didn't seem right. I felt like shit.  But things just feel "right"   right now.  Maybe there is some kind of unseen "plan" for things.  I don't know. I've always just been the type that lets things happen as they come and just goes with the flow.  And man....... things are flowin nice.


Two people will read this blog.

Happy Birthday

So at work today, I felt real depressed.  I didn't know why, but everyone was asking me why I was so quiet and unsocial.  I thought, at first, that it was because I had been working eleven days straight, 9+ hours each night. I felt like a zombie.  But my heart felt heavy.  I looked at the calendar and realized the date was January 19, the day before my best childhood friend's birthday.

His name is Andrew Proctor. I met him in middle school. Our sixth grade English teacher yelled at the both of us one day for talking during one of her bullshit lectures.  We weren't talking. In fact, we didn't know each other at all.  She put us in "isolation" several times, and the entire time we kept glancing at each other with looks on our faces like "what the fuck? I don't even know you. We weren't talking to each other..." We never knew why she thought it was us that was talking. So we started hanging out from that day on.  Best of friends.  Anyway, he passed away February 8th, 2008, due to suicide.  I went all night at work tonight wondering what it was that I was feeling, and until I finally knew what day it was, it hit me.  It's strange how the mind works, isn't it?


Anyway, today is his birthday.  He's 23 now. January 20th.  I'm getting up early to go to his grave and have a beer with him before I go into work.  It's something I've done now for the past three years.

Andrew was an excellent writer.  Extremely smart.  I was always jealous of all of his abilities.  If he put his mind to it, he'd perfect it.  I've tried to live my life as such ever since.

Here's a song that eerily reminds me of a poem he wrote.  It was played at his funeral, and I haven't been able to listen to it dry eyed since.

 

I had never met anyone with so much life, happiness, will, and intelligence. I hope there's something out there.... something that will bring me back into his presence.

Bless your soul, Andrew.  I love you.

Change.

So much in my life has changed over the past two and a half months.  Some of it good, and some of it absolutely horrible.  I lost my mind, lost the love of my life, lost my future that I thought I had all planned out...  I'm horribly depressed and can't be alone.

But through it all, I've found out who my real friends are.  Sure, I have plenty of friends.  But only a select few have really shown that they care.  Those few have actually taken the time to sit and talk to me about how I'm feeling, respond to what I'm saying, give me suggestions, and try to really relate to what I'm feeling.  That's a good thing, right?

I've finally began my career, too.  I started working for AAR. They do the maintenance on Southwest, Delta, and UPS planes.  I'm only starting at $16 dollars an hour, but if I bust my ass like I have been the past few years, I'll move up quick... real damn quick.  Way quicker than my other job.

Which brings me to my next point.  It was real eerie leaving FedEx.  I had only been there for a year and a half, but at one point, I was ready to be there the rest of my life and work on their planes.  Of course, that was a few months ago, before I snapped and my life completely changed.  But, I'm at where I'm at now and I just gotta work through it.  I still feel terrible.  It's crazy how things can change so drastically, and so quickly.  Oh, the places you will go...

I'm cutting my hair, by the way.  This Sunday.  Something like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  My good buddy Chris and I agreed it was a pretty cool do.  We'll see how I look with something similar.

We'll see.

Enjoy this video, too.

Excited - for the first time in a while.

I haven't been able to catch a break lately.  To start things off, I lose my mind and have a mental freak out.  My anxiety has been constantly on the rise.  I'm horribly depressed and lonely. Then, my lower ball joint fails on my car at 70 mph and I go flying across the highway, blow out a tire, and my axle is ripped out, leaving me with a 70 dollar tow bill, and a 90 dollar repair. The following day, I get the shit beat out of me by multiple dudes. Now, three weeks later, I still walk with a limp and can't move my knee much.  After that, I come down with bronchitis and an ear infection so bad that it caused my ear to bleed and partially lose my hearing, which may be permanent.

A little over two months ago, maybe three, I was applying for jobs as an aviation mechanic.  Nowhere seemed to show much interest. Then, just two weeks ago, a company called AAR called me to bring me in for an interview.  I did well in the interview and I took several tests to show my knowledge of airplanes.  I aced all the tests.  They interviewer said they'd get back to me in three weeks to tell me whether or not they'd have a job offer for me.  That was on a Thursday.  The following Monday, I got a phone call with a job offer.

I'm so fucking excited.  I need this change in my life.  I can finally quit my two bullshit jobs and begin my career.  I can finally begin my life.

This video cracked me up.

Hippy Killer handle grips

Got my handle grips from Hippy Killer the other day.  Put them on my bike, and they are so sexy.  Check 'em out.

Sexy, right?  Check out a side view.

 They don't offer much grip, but hey... they look damn good.  Form over function.

Always use cotter pins on ball joints, and don't pick fights with extremely muscular men

So it was a rough weekend.   I was on my way back from Lafayette, on the highway, and all of the sudden I hear a big BOOM.  I swerve across the highway and come to a stop on the side of the road.  My tire is blown and is turned completely sideways.  I look at my lower ball joint and the nut had come off.  "huh, guess I didn't put the cotter pin through the castle nut," I said.  So AAA came and put my car on a flatbed. 35 miles and 70 dollars later, my car was back home.  Oh, and my axle was ripped out too, that was a 90 dollar replacement.  Awesome.

I went to a party on Saturday.  There was this real muscular guy there.  I'm talkin' about a 500+ pound bench.  Dude was HUGE.  Me and him were shootin the shit all night long.  Then some heavy music started playin and people started roughin each other up a bit.  Not fighting, just a little fun push and a shove.  So I told the big guy "don't make me go out there and whoop your ass"  So we started shoving each other and wrestling around.  This guy is strong as hell.  He would push me and I'd literally fly across the garage.  I'd pop right back up and go for more.

One particular time he pushed me and I slipped on some beer, fell, and hit my head.  Some other drunken idiots thought me and this guy, Pete, were fighting.  They were Pete's friends.  So these guys come up and start beating my ass, even though I was already unconscious from hitting my head.  I kept getting up, after regaining consciousness, and then someone would sucker punch me and I'd be out again.  Then some girl chimed in and said I hit her.  Her big bad ass boy friend comes up and starts sucker punching me. Repeatedly. I was knocked out probably 4 or 5 times.  But I kept getting back up, and didn't even have a chance to defend myself.  Pete comes up with his monster arms and chokes me out till I went limp.  Then my buddy tells everyone to leave me the fuck alone, and woke me up.  Every one was all pissed at me, for no reason.  All because they thought I was fighting Pete, and some girl SAID I hit her.  If I did in fact make any contact with her, it was because Pete picked me up and threw me and I came in contact with her.  I didn't throw a single punch.  Probably would have if I was at all conscious throughout this event.

It was pretty fun though.

drinks

so I got drunk tonight.  really drunk.  I am right now.   I went out with my little sister, and we got wasted. she's never seen me drunk before, and doesn't realize how roudy I get.

I did a big ass burnout the other night. Drunker than shit. Here's the video. 

got all the way into fifth gear.  Started in second.  Made it to fifth.  Watch the flames shooting out of the exhaust.  And watch Kyle fight for his life to keep the bike from fucking going forward. Fucking amazing.